Eight Habits to Embrace to Make Homemaking Happier
On the one time I thought I was going to be a homemaking blogger.
Today’s essay of homestead encouragement is eight habits to embrace to make homemaking happier. This is an article from my archives written in 2021 when I started my blog at mossygoat.com. I was still searching for my voice and tried out the homemaking niche. I was a stay at home and homeschooling mom for 18 years so I thought I might have some knowledge about the subject. After this one article I decided the niche wasn’t for me. Homemaking is the art of everyday living and has a spiritual side to it but every time I sit down to write about homemaking all I can seem to write about is house cleaning. Homemaking is not all house cleaning! But here we go…… house cleaning……
Eight Habits to Embrace to Make Homemaking Happier
Homemaking can be overwhelming and it’s not all together natural or fulfilling for everyone. To tell you the truth: it can be mind numbingly repetitive. Homemaking is an art and it needs to be learned and practiced.
I had an aha! moment one day while doing dishes. I told my husband he gets to do all the fun projects while I was stuck with dishes and cleaning, and I was jealous of him. He said, “ok, alright, you can do my projects.” He then listed everything he had planned that day. He was going to start the day with taking the bathroom drainpipe off to clean it out and that was a highlight. Fixing the electric fence was somewhere in there as well. I realized that it wasn’t that he did things that were more fun, because I definitely would rather wash dishes than clean a pipe out. I was jealous because his tasks were more varied and feature an end point. When the pipe is fixed- it’s fixed, and when the electric fence is repaired-it’s repaired. But when the dishes are done you can expect more dishes. He can stand back and look at a job well done. I get more dishes. (Yes, for the record, my children and husband both do dishes as well). I also do many of the barn chores which also are very repetitive. No matter how many times I clean a stall a day, I will always go back out to the barn to see more poop.
I vowed that day to make peace with repetition. The problem isn’t the type of work but the attitude behind the work.
Here are eight habits to embrace to make your homemaking happier and less overwhelming.
Habit 1- Fold Laundry as it comes out of the dryer.
It takes less then 10 minutes to fold a load of laundry. 15 minutes if you have to go out to the clothesline to get your laundry. But then you can use magical folding skills and fold it as it comes off the line. Don’t believe me that it takes so little time? Time yourself.
Why does this habit make for happier homemaking? If one load takes 10 minutes and you have five loads piled up to fold, then a simple short task becomes an ordeal.
I challenged myself to do this one new habit for one week. I was amazed at how much simpler and less overwhelming laundry became. I still had neatly folded piles of clothes on my folding table (pool table) waiting for other people to put away, but they were folded and waiting.
Habit 2- Make sure dishes are done before bedtime.
I never understood shining my sink before bed. However, I do make it a habit to make sure dishes are done before bed. Why? Because if I wake up to a sink full of dishes it starts my day off wrong. I have had more than one absolutely ruined day all due to waking up and seeing lots of work (dishes). I can get snapped easily into a feeling of overwhelm and dishes are one of my #1 trigger. Once the feeling of overwhelm begins it can be hard to get out of it.
Why does this habit make for happier homemaking? Dishes are never ending. If you are human- you eat, and if you eat you have dirty dishes. Starting a day off fresh helps keep a happy attitude.
Habit 3- Get dressed every day in the morning before you start your day.
No, you don’t have to wear shoes. I don’t even go out to the barn in my pajamas to feed, I always get dressed first. It makes me feel like a real person.
Don’t give up on yourself and fight the homemaker frump! Brush your hair and wash your face. Wear stylish clothes that make you feel good about yourself. Pretty aprons help too. It is easy to get in a funk when you are at home all day caring for other people. Getting dressed every day is a small way to care for yourself.
Why does this habit make for happier homemaking? It’s easy to get lost in homemaking as something you do for other people. Getting dressed and caring for yourself is something you can do for you. Small things can add up really fast when caring for yourself.
Habit 4- Don’t compare yourself to others.
Um, people, I think the above photo is actually what we expect our lives to look like. Real life is messy. Embrace the mess. Don’t compare yourself to other people.
How many times have you hopped onto Instagram and saw really super clean and lovely homes only to feel bad about your homemaking? Or how about those people who seem to do it all while you are struggling just to get out of bed in the morning. Your home is full of love no matter what it looks like. Yes, you probably could do better. I know I could do better. Are your children loved, clothed, and fed? Then you are on top of the curve.
Why does this habit make for happier homemaking? Comparing yourself to someone else serves no point. Being a homemaker and a stay-at-home mom can be lonely and it’s easy to feel like you are failing. Viewing other people’s successes can put added pressure onto yourself. That pressure doesn’t need to be there. There is no award when you die for the cleanest home. However, raising happy children is reward onto itself which gets passed down to generations.
You also don’t know the story behind the photos you see on Instagram. Maybe there is a housekeeper. Maybe just out of view of the photo is an absolute mess. Maybe they have a hoarder room. Maybe they have more support at home from extended family. Maybe it’s a lie and their life is nothing like that. Maybe they are really superhuman, with superhuman house cleaning skills. In that case just be happy for them because they will struggle elsewhere in their life.
If an Instagram account or blog makes you feel bad about your homemaking, then unfollow it. What you see online needs to inspire you, not make you feel bad. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good.
Habit 5- Do something creative and/or intellectual every day
Make it a point to be creative or to do something intellectual EVERY DAY. No, mindlessly scrolling Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok does not count here. Why does this habit make for happier homemaking? Doing at least one creative and/or intellectual thing a day keeps your brain happy and thinking when you are stuck in repetition. I enjoy logic puzzles and the word games books. I read, quilt, and sew. Writing this blog has been amazing in making my brain feel happy. I’m a fairly intellectual deep thinker in real life and I am happiest if I am using my brain. If you feel stuck in repetition and feeling like you are going mad, you should have something you can quickly pick up and do, be it a knitting project, a sewing project, or a book to read.
What podcasts can you listen to while doing dishes? What games can you play as a family? Is there a craft can you learn? Stretch your brain and practice creativity. Your brain will thank you with added happiness.
Habit 6- Have a daily rhythm.
Rhythms are not schedules. A schedule would say “Breakfast at 8:00 and do laundry at 10:00” while a rhythm will say put a load of laundry in after breakfast and put it in the dryer after lunch and fold after dinner. If you are like me, you will have to do more than a load of laundry a day, but you get the idea. Rural home management can be hard.
Rhythms don’t have to be something you do every day. I make phone calls on Monday and water my house plants on Tuesday and Friday. Having typical days that I do something ensures that I do them. I don’t always have phone calls to make on Mondays but if I do….they get done on Monday.
A rhythm is a flow of your day rather than a set time to do each item.
Why does this habit make for happier homemaking? Having a daily rhythm gives your day flow and takes away some of the anxiety of trying to figure out what to do when. You can always break your rhythm and be spontaneous but having a rhythm helps get things done.
Habit 7- Planning
I get it. Wild child here! Planning doesn’t feel very wild. I (don’t want to use the word hate) really dislike planning. However, I am the queen of what I call the Color-Coded Calendar of Craziness. Without my color-coded calendar, things wouldn’t be done on time. You might say I would be a mess of a human without my calendar.
Planning can be as simple as having a grocery list and a brain dump list of things to do or you can meal plan and chore plan and use a full planner. As a homeschooling mom, lesson planning is a MUST, even if we don’t follow the plan every day. Plans are made to be broken but without a plan I am lost.
What does this habit make for happier homemaking? Failing to plan is planning to fail. I can’t stress that enough in homemaking and homesteading. Mom brains tend to have five gazillion things going on in their brains at once and moms need to be the master of multi-tasking. Planning helps you fight overwhelm and get things done so you can enjoy the final habit to embrace to make homemaking happier.
Habit 8- Embrace the art of doing nothing.
This is the most important habit of all. Homemaking is never ending. Homesteading is never ending. There is ALWAYS something to do. I can wake up and start doing chores and do chores until bedtime. Humans need down time. Doing nothing needs to be in your rhythm of the day. I have to add something important to this habit though: Get rid of the guilt of doing nothing! Don’t feel bad about taking down time. Don’t feel like you “should” be doing something. In fact, abolish the word should out of your life. The word should just adds guilt.
Instagram, Facebook, and watching tv plays into your doing nothing time. Mindlessly scrolling can be an unhealthy habit but it also can help us just turn our “doing” brain off. Reading, crafting, and creativity count too!
Think of your days as balancing in breaths and out breaths. Your days should breathe. Active times such as gardening, outdoor play, and cooking should be followed by relaxing, computer time, or a sit down family dinner. Breathe in..breathe out…and balance your day. Your body will also tell you if you need down time. Listen to it and don’t feel guilty about taking some down time.
How to practice these habits.
I forget things if I don’t write them down. Use habit #7 to start and list what habits you want to practice. Keep this list prominent so you can see it. You can even post it on your refrigerator. Remember to take baby steps. Start one habit at once instead of eight. If you add habits in slowly you are more likely to keep them.
I hope you liked my list of eight habits to embrace to make homemaking happier. Let me know what habits you have to make your homemaking happier.
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